Long for the Milk, Not the Poison

There is something revealing about what we desire. Our appetites often expose what our hearts find satisfying.

I remember someone who once proudly told me that babies do not have desires at all. I found that rather amusing. Have you ever seen a hungry newborn? A baby does not need to be taught to cry for milk. It naturally longs for the nourishment necessary for life. Clearly, babies do have desires!

But this made me think of something deeper. Perhaps the idea goes beyond simply denying that babies have desires. It may reflect a view of human nature in which infants begin as morally neutral, like a clean slate, without any corrupted inclinations or evil desires. This brings to mind something resembling the old Pelagian controversy.

Of course, the Pelagian controversy was much more serious. Pelagius denied that Adam’s sin and corruption were transmitted to his descendants, maintaining that human beings are born without original sin and possess the moral ability to choose good apart from the necessity of inward, transforming grace. Augustine, on the other hand, insisted that humanity is fallen from birth and utterly dependent upon God’s grace. His famous prayer captures this beautifully:

“Give what You command, and command what You will.” (Confessions, 10.29.40).

But Peter’s illustration in our passage makes an important point: desire itself is not evil. God created us with faculties such as intellect, emotions, and will. Sin disorders our desires; grace redirects them.

The context

In 1 Peter 1:23–25, Peter reminds believers that they have been born again through the living and abiding Word of God. Now, in 2:1–3, he explains what this new life should look like.

Notice the logic:

Verse 1 – Put away: Malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander.

Verse 2 – Long for: Pure spiritual milk, so that believers may grow.

Verse 3 – The reason: They have tasted that the Lord is good.

Peter connects our conduct with our appetite. Those who have received new life must put away behaviors that contradict it and cultivate a longing for what nourishes that life.

Phrase of 1 Peter 2:1-3

1. “So put away” (v. 1)

The participle apothemenoi (ἀποθέμενοι) carries the idea of putting something off, like removing an old garment. Peter identifies five destructive attitudes and behaviors:

• Malice – ill will toward others.
• Deceit – dishonesty and manipulation.
• Hypocrisy – pretending to be what we are not.
• Envy – resentment toward another person’s blessings.
• Slander – speech that damages another’s reputation.

We can be active in church, sound in doctrine, and involved in ministry, yet entertain conversations that destroy another person’s reputation.

Sometimes we disguise gossip as concern, criticism as discernment, and slander as a prayer request.

But there is another danger: weaponizing the accusation of gossip to silence legitimate biblical correction. Not every conversation about someone’s sin is gossip. Jesus instructed believers to confront a sinning brother (Matthew 18:15), and Paul commanded restoration with gentleness (Galatians 6:1). Sometimes people are not upset because their sin was maliciously exposed, but because it was confronted in the first place.

Likewise, beware of weaponized woundedness, sometimes called playing the empathy card. Some use their painful experiences, tears, or emotional struggles to gain sympathy and turn others against those who lovingly corrected them. Instead of examining the truth of the rebuke, they redirect everyone’s attention to how hurt they feel.

Of course, genuine wounds deserve compassion. But tears do not automatically establish innocence, just as correction does not automatically establish cruelty. Even genuinely compassionate Christians can be manipulated when they take sides based on emotional presentations rather than carefully examining the facts and biblical principles involved.

Do not let sympathy become partiality, or woundedness become a shield against accountability. Love requires both compassion and truth.

But neither should we use biblical correction as an excuse for cruelty, unnecessary exposure, or character assassination. The goal is restoration, not humiliation.

How can we claim to love our brothers and sisters while finding pleasure in tearing them down?

2. “Like newborn infants, long for” (v. 2)

The main command is epipothēsate (ἐπιποθήσατε): earnestly desire or long for.

Peter does not merely say to read God’s Word. He commands believers to develop an appetite for it.

The comparison with newborn infants emphasizes the intensity and naturalness of their longing for nourishment.

The expression “pure spiritual milk” points to genuine, unadulterated spiritual nourishment, understood in the context of the living Word and proclaimed gospel in 1:23–25.

And what is its purpose? “That by it you may grow up into salvation.”

We do not feed on God’s Word to earn salvation. We feed on it because we have been born again and must grow in the life God has given us.

3. “If indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good” (v. 3)

Peter echoes Psalm 34:8. Having experienced the Lord’s goodness is the reason believers should long for spiritual nourishment.

This is not merely religious obligation. It is an appetite produced by having tasted something better.

The deeper issue: What satisfies you?

Here is where Christian Hedonism helps us understand the passage.

Why do we gossip? Sometimes we enjoy feeling informed, superior, accepted, or important. Why do we slander? Sometimes envy, bitterness, and the desire for recognition satisfy us temporarily.

Why do some manipulate others through woundedness? Perhaps they find satisfaction in sympathy, vindication, control, or having others take their side.

Different behaviors, but potentially the same underlying problem: seeking satisfaction in something other than God.

The problem is not merely our tongues. It is our hearts seeking satisfaction in the wrong things.

The solution is not simply to gossip less, but to delight more in God.

Someone who has tasted God’s goodness should increasingly find these destructive behaviors out of character with the new life received through Christ. This does not mean Christians never struggle with these sins. It means they must not make peace with them.

We cannot be satisfied with the goodness of God while continually finding pleasure in what destroys the people He commands us to love.

Savor applications

Mind – Examine your motives.

Before speaking about someone, ask: Why am I sharing this? Am I seeking to help, or am I enjoying the opportunity to expose, criticize, or diminish someone? Am I judging the situation according to Scripture, or merely responding to someone’s emotional presentation?

Heart – Cultivate a greater appetite for God.

Do not merely try to hate gossip. Learn to love what is better. Feed on God’s Word, meditate on His grace, and find your satisfaction in Christ rather than in the temporary pleasures of sin.

Hand – Put away slander and practice edifying speech.

Refuse to entertain unnecessary conversations that damage reputations. Speak truthfully, graciously, and constructively. Pursue restoration rather than humiliation. Do not participate in character assassination, whether it comes disguised as gossip, accountability, or sympathy.

Coram Deo

Perhaps the question is not simply, “Have I stopped gossiping?” but, “What am I feeding my heart with?”

Peter reminds us that those who have tasted the goodness of the Lord ought to long for what nourishes their new life.

So put away the poison. Long for the milk.

Do not settle for the temporary satisfaction of tearing someone down when you have tasted the enduring goodness of the Lord.

May our hearts become so satisfied in Christ that our mouths no longer find pleasure in destroying others, but increasingly become instruments of truth, grace, and love.

Suggested Resources

• Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion by Allie Beth Stuckey
• The Sin of Empathy — A Conversation with Joe Rigney